Commitment in Times of Doubt and Frustration

This field can be frustrating. Your job is to be a highly logical, precise, and accurate individual, but sometimes you have to navigate very illogical, imprecise, and inaccurate situations. This inconsistency can be difficult to process. I'm writing this as I navigate such a situation myself. This is more or less a letter to the disgruntled and confused programmer stuck in choppy waters.

Dear programmer,

I know you're sitting somewhere trying to relax and take your mind off work, but your mind is running wild thinking about all the ways you hate your job. Which steps did you go through so far? Did you vent to a friend or coworker yet? Did you spend some time trying to convince yourself it's not that bad? Did you start searching for a different job? When you started searching for a different job, did you notice some holes in your resume and think of doing a side project maybe this weekend to fill that hole? Did you try to step away, but just can't? I know, all too well.

This feeling is coming from something not meeting your expectations of reality. You thought that something was true, and you're finding out that maybe it's not true. Or, you're finding out that you're the only one that knows it's true. That's frustrating. There's a gap somewhere and now you have to go fill it. That's more work.

But you didn't come all this way to get stumped by a little crack in the road, did you?

This is one small hurdle, a gentle bump in a long, curvy road. If you believe you can be stopped here, there's no way you're getting up the rest of the hill. And if you look back, you'll find you probably overcame much harder obstacles than this one.

Remember that reality is like a codebase, and your mind is a wiki page explaining the codebase. It will constantly fall out of sync with reality, practically the instant you hit 'save'. You have to stay checked into the game to stay in sync. It's easy to check out. Problems out of sight are out of mind, and problems out of mind aren't your problem anymore. But when you have to check back in, the problems will be a lot harder to solve.

Rule 1: stay in the game

You're probably tempted to call it quits and bow out. Find a new company, a new product, a new project, because this one is just too hard, or the tech sucks, or the people suck. My only advice to you, programmer: don't be stupid.

• Don't overstay your welcome

• Don't stick around in an environment which no longer challenges you

• Don't stay in a position that lacks upward mobility

• Don't stand your ground on a sinking ship

But also...

• Don't dip out at the first sign of friction. It builds character.

• Don't be arrogant, find new ways to be challenged.

• Don't think that there's no path to upward mobility. There probably is.

• Don't assume the ship is sinking. It takes a lot to sink a boat.

Don't be stupid. Of course, if the signs of failure are painfully obvious, it may be time to move on and abandon whatever it is you're working on. But if it's just your opinion and hypothesis, this is a great opportunity to trudge through the mud and get a little stronger in the process. If you can get through this, you can get through anything. If you can't, you've found your ceiling. I'm not too fond of the idea of having a ceiling. I think that's extremely depressing. So I'm going to trudge through the mud.

Rule 2: Never put a ceiling on yourself

Rule 3: Avoid situations that put a ceiling on you

Your job is to get everyone back in sync with reality. If you were wrong about something, get yourself back in sync. If someone else was wrong about reality, get them back in sync. If something didn't go as expected, correct it. If other people don't understand your value, show them.

Rule 4: Harness Reality

You know yourself better than anyone else. You know your strengths to leverage and your weaknesses to exercise. I know you worked hard for this. I know you're stressed. I know you're frustrated. But you have the opportunity to use that frustration to your advantage. You have emotional momentum, and you can either use that to drive yourself out of the game, or dig yourself further in and lock in. In every frustrating scenario, you have nothing to lose. You're probably feeling pretty "rock bottom" at this point. So go ahead, try something else. Pivot outside your normal routine, think outside the box, and think freely. Screw the process, screw the framework because clearly, it failed you here. Do what you need to do to succeed. Find the new process, and be relentless in your pursuit.

Rule 5: Be relentless

...Tomorrow.

Is your grindset brain getting a bit tired now, thinking about locking in and staying in the game? So is mine. Hopefully, all of those paragraphs satiated your brain's hunger for war. Now that we're past all of that, it's time to clear your mind. Doubt, frustration, and fear are part of the emotional fog of war in everyday life. You don't want to make decisions with clouded judgment. So tonight, blow off some steam. Go enjoy a hobby. Forget about the trials of today. Breathe, enjoy life. Programming is a profession, but it's not everything. At the end of the day, it's just a job. Life has so much more to offer. When you're in the game, go all in. But right now, what you need is a mental break. Turn off your phone. Do something else. Just don't be here, doing this. Don't make emotional decisions. Give it time.

Rule 6: Act with clear judgment

You'll get through this one, programmer. I believe in you.

Sincerely,

Programmer